Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Bill of the Gate-people
As reported recently, Bill Gates has strengthened his bid for Kingship by increasing his Dexterity to 18 and his Charisma to 20. While many feel that this latest move makes Gates unbeatable, others aren't so sure. "Certainly his campaign could be crushed if he made a mistake," ABC computer correspondent Geena Smith said. "But let's be realistic. He's got 40 million experience points dating back to when he dropped out of Harvard. His party has done nothing but kill and acquire for 22 years. He knows when to cast versus when to hack-and-slash. He will be the emperor lich of 21st century media."
Below: Bill Gates' revised character sheet.
Copyright 1997 The Onion